The Memory in the Red Dress

Last night, your Mama Kay was going through some of my old dresses that she still has at her house. As she told me of each dress she had come across, the memories that each holds began to flood my thoughts. My wedding dress, of course, holds the memories of the happiest day of my life. The sounds of laughter and music drifted into my mind accompanied by the sight of my handsome, new husband looking back at me. Mama Kay interrupted my reverie as she continued to tell me of the dresses she had run across. "All of the dresses from when you were a bridesmaid," she continued. "Even your prom dresses - the red, shiny one; the pretty, beaded, blue one; the black and white dress you wore to your senior prom. In fact," she continued, "do you remember the red dress your Aunt Barbara made for you for the 6th grade Valentine's dance?" My heart warmed at the thought. "No," I replied, "it wasn't the 6th grade dance. It was 7th grade, and she bought it last minute because, at the time, we couldn't afford it." Aunt Gran is always thoughtful that way. "Actually," I went on, "that was the dress I wore the very first time I danced with Nathan."

~ I was 12 years old, and for me, turning 12 meant many things, one being that I was finally starting to notice boys. Mama Kay might say that I was a little "boy crazy," but I was just your typical pre-teen girl. Boys were starting to catch my eye, and one of the first boys I noticed was your dad.

It was Saturday, February 14, 1998 - the night of Ferris Junior High's Valentine dance. I was wearing the red dress. It came down just past my knees and had a sash that tied in the back. It was one of those dresses that girls can't help but to twirl in. My friends and I were enjoying ourselves, but when a slow song would start to play, my friends would all dance, leaving me to sit alone. The boy I liked hadn't come to the dance. I remember going to the concession stand to buy a pickle and then plopping down in a chair to sulk. I had grown accustomed to boys not being too interested in me, but the repetition of heart break doesn't take away the sting. I was upset that no boy had asked me to dance, and the night was coming to an end.

As I finished my pickle, the most handsome boy I had ever seen began walking my way. Nathan Hairston. I assumed he would walk past me. He didn't. Oh, I had seen him before. I had even spoken to him. In fact, I had even deflected a few of his spit balls in class, but none of the few encounters I had had with him could have prepared me for what he would say to me now.

"You look sad," he said.

"I'm fine," was along the lines of what I'm sure fell out of my mouth.

"You want to dance?" he asked

At that point, I am almost certain that breathing had become something I had to make an effort to do, and for some reason, I answered, "No, I'm okay."

"You look sad, so I'm not taking 'No' for an answer."

He held out his hand. I took it.

We walked back onto the gym floor and danced to some song that I'll always wish I could remember. It was wonderful! I was so nervous, but he was so sweet to me, bringing me comfort despite the endless whirling of butterflies in my stomach.

Suddenly, we were interrupted, by a very angry girl. She stormed up to Nathan and told him that his girlfriend was going to break up with him if he didn't stop dancing with me "right this second!" Of course, he had a girlfriend. That made sense - much more sense than him dancing with me. "He was just being nice to me," I thought. I was preparing myself to quickly back away and slip silently out of the door in my humiliation when I heard him reply to the angry girl, "Then, I guess she's breaking up with me," never once taking his eyes from me.

The girl stormed off. She was pretty upset, as any girl would be, but at the time, I could selfishly only think of my own happiness. Your dad said to me, "Sorry about that," and we danced the remainder of the song with the sound of nothing but the music. ~

To my son: With this story, I hope you learn chivalry and kindness. I do not expect you to dance with other girls if you have a girlfriend, but your father was being polite to a girl who looked like she was sad on a night when she should be happy. I know - girls - YUCK! But when you get to a certain age, remember to be chivalrous, and you are certain to capture the heart of the girl of your dreams.

To my daughter: I ask that you refuse to dance with anyone less of a gentleman than your daddy. You deserve to be loved and treated with the utmost respect. (And your dad says that first dance won't be until you're 25. Sorry.)

(On a side note, today you are as big as a blueberry, which makes it only mildly strange that I ate a blueberry for a snack. We love you Poppyseed.)

Learn from the Best

Obviously, I want what’s best for you. I want you to be the best, and in being the best you must learn from the best. I am not all knowing, and contrary to what he may tell you, neither is your dad. Here are some very important things that you can learn from some very important people.

Being Cool – This lesson cannot be taught by anyone better than your very own Boompa. People flock to him! Be careful though. You will soon learn that too much time around Boompa can result in belly aches from laughter.

All About Musicals – Be you boy or girl, it never hurts to be cultured. Learn from the best: Mama Kay

Everything Car Repair – Your daddy is an expert at this, but he learned from the best. Papa Jerry showed him the ropes and will do the same for you.

Cooking – You cannot go wrong by getting some tips on the culinary arts from, believe it or not, Paparoosky himself. You’ll learn soon that southern grub doesn’t get any better than what’s cooking at the farm.

Manners – Aunt Gran has you covered on this. Don’t forget to ask politely.

Throwing a Football – You have 4 uncles, a daddy, and three grandpa’s. Aunt Jen can out throw any of ‘em.

Decorating – This girl can make orange walls with peacock stickers look amazing. Ask Lindsay for all of your decorating and design needs.

Acting – Your Auntie Lou wasn’t just the best actress in Van Zandt County. She was the best in the state of Texas!

Fashion – I don’t know how she does it, but Auntie Ashley can make a potato sack look like the next thing to hit the runway. If she is not too busy with her acting and modeling career, I know she will be willing to help you where your mama certainly lacks.

Hair and Makeup – Auntie Lynn will make sure that, boy or girl, you know how to sport some awesome hair.

Don’t worry, Poppyseed. There are plenty more where those came from. In fact, I'm saving some of the best for last. But you are making Mama very tired, so I need to rest.

To be continued…

Life's Delicious Brew

We have a lot of coffee drinkers in the family. Your daddy loves his coffee bold, black, and on ice; your Papa Jerry prefers his coffee strong and hot; and your Boompa can smell from a room away if his coffee is made with soft water (If it lathers, it doesn't make good coffee.), and he will pour it out at his first opportunity. For as long as I have known these men, they have loved their coffee. The scenery may change; they may drink coffee in the car, at home, at work, in a restaurant, or at church. The container may change: cup, mug, thermos, or glass. However, some things remain constant. Their coffee is rich. Their cups are always full. And their drink of choice always brings them joy.

Today, I heard the following story. Its author is unknown, but its message is profound.

"A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly."

Poppyseed, I wish I could provide for you the most extravagant and beautiful cup, but sometimes all the good cups are taken before I can grab the one I had my eye on. Even during those times that we may get our cup of choice, if we spend too much time admiring the cup, by the time we get to tasting what's inside, it could be stale.

Here is what your dad and I can promise to provide for you.

We promise that we will always make sure your cup is full of the most fragrant and delicious life.

We promise that we will fill your cup with enough sugar, always making life sweet but never leaving a cavity.

We promise that what fills your cup will be strong and bold, but never bitter.

We promise that we will brew enough fresh life that you can share it with the people you love the most.

We promise that your cup will runneth over with love.

And we promise to teach you to fill your own cup with the flavor of life that you love the most.

We love you always, Poppyseed. Remember to focus on the delicious brew of life, and like Daddy, Papa Jerry, and Boompa do with their daily "cups of Joe", savor each and every sip.

Gas Can Miracle

A miracle is an inexplicable intervention that defies all rules of reason, nature, or science. Many people refer to miracles as being divine interventions, meaning that something not of this world had a hand in the event. If that's the case, then miracles must happen every day. After all, there is not a moment where God doesn't have His hand in the events of life.

Sometimes, miracles are small; some might even say meaningless. To many, small miracles aren't miracles at all because they don't fit the definition of defying all rules of nature. After all, science explains most occurrences. Other miracles are on a grander scale. Take the spiral staircase in a Santa Fe chapel for example. No expert can give a plausible explanation as to how it is standing, but it continues to stand, mocking the attempts to dispute its holiness.

For the most part, the human race has the wrong idea of what a miracle is. Many people feel they are owed a miracle, and when the one they had picked out for themselves doesn't come to fruition, they give up believing. When your grammy died after being very sick for 3 years, there were some who asked, "Why not a miracle for her? Why not a miracle for us?" One of your dad's wisest responses (and he is a very wise man) was, "Maybe our miracle was 3 years instead of 3 months."

Our miracles aren't up for us to choose. We may think we know what is best for ourselves, but there is one who knows better. Our miracles aren't up to us because we cannot see much further than ourselves. However, God sees the whole picture. God can see who and what will be affected by each and every action and reaction. Therefore, we should take the miracles we are given, and be thankful.

One of my favorite stories of your grammy is the story of Grammy's gas can miracle.

On November 16, 1985, Uncle Nick was born. Nick was one of Grammy's miracles. He was born very premature, and much like she did at the end of her own life, Grammy fought hard for the life of her youngest baby boy. This story is of one of God's small miracles, you know, the kind most "experts" would explain away as being coincidence. However, this is not the miracle of your Uncle's life. That's a story for a different day, and he could tell it better than I. This story is of God giving Grammy an opened window when it seemed that all of life's doors had been slammed in her face - a story that reminds us that life can be cruel, but God is ever faithful.

During the days after Nick's birth, Grammy traveled back and forth from her 3 boys at home to her newest son in a Dallas hospital, struggling to survive. This was at a time when Grammy didn't have a lot of luxuries. In fact, just getting by from day to day was a challenge.

One afternoon, while Grammy drove the 30 miles to be with Nick, her troubles were becoming overwhelming, weighing down on her like a ton of bricks. The mountain that had been placed before her seemed an impossible climb. Grammy, through tear filled eyes, continued anxiously checking the needle on the gas gauge of her car, as it edged closer and closer to "E." Grammy knew that her pockets were bare and that she would scarcely have enough gas to make it back home to her other 3 boys. Either she would not be able to come home to her 3 boys waiting for her, or she would not be able to see Nick again until her next paycheck. Both seemed impossible to bare. As Grammy drove on, she prayed for God to give her a way. She prayed that the bleak future she saw stretched before her would brighten just a bit. She had only 4 concerns, and each of them had an innocent face that looked to her for comfort. Brian, Brandon, Daddy, and Nick were her everything, and she prayed that God would give her a way to be the mother each of them needed.

Just then, the truck driving ahead of Grammy hit a small bump on the highway pavement, and out flew a bright red container. Grammy pulled to the shoulder to avoid hitting it. Heart racing from the near accident, Grammy sat for a while in her car, catching her breath. She glanced in her rear view mirror to see what it was that had caused her to swerve. With slow realization, Grammy let her eyes take in the sight. A red gas can sat upright in the lane closest to the shoulder. She hesitated for a moment, believing this type of divine intervention only fit for movies and books. Then (after looking both ways of course) Grammy hurried toward the can in the center of the lane. She kept repeating to herself, "It will be empty. It has to be empty." When she reached the can, she wrapped her slim fingers tightly around the handle and pulled up. The weight of the can was more than she expected, more than she had hoped, as it shifted from side to side, the liquid inside sloshing about. The can was full!

Grammy ran back to her car with the can and crouched down to lean on the tire. She hugged the can so close, thinking it might disappear, that it couldn't be real. But it was real. Grammy waited for several minutes to see if the owner of the can would come back to claim what he'd lost. When it was clear that no one was coming back for the can, Grammy stood, took off her gas cap, and began to fill her car. Happy tears streamed down Grammy's face, and as the tank filled with gasoline, Grammy's heart filled with hope and joy.

Grammy never had to miss a day of seeing any of her children. Nick was finally able to come home, and life went on. Was it a miracle? Maybe not. But Grammy never forgot what happened that day, and she told the story of her gas can miracle in hopes that those who listened, believer or not, would learn how to have hope.

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

Poppyseed -

One day, you will learn what it is to want something so badly that you can taste it. You will dream big dreams, and I will be there to encourage you to make those dreams come true. One day, you will want to graduate at the top of your class, or score a winning point, or hear the crowd scream your name. You will want to be accepted to a certain school, master the art of playing an instrument, land the perfect back handspring, or meet that person who will change your world forever. One day, your desire will be so great that it will become a part of you. And then, one day, you'll get it. That dream that for so long had been as tangible as the air you breathe will become a palpable dream come true. On that day, you will be closer to understanding my joy when you, my dream, came true.

The stories and lessons I have for you are enough to write a book, and you are only adding to the pages. I plan to tell you stories of your dad and me, what our life has been up to this point and how the ever growing and ever loved Poppyseed seems to be changing that life into something even I cannot foresee. I will tell you of our loss - losing your grammy a short 7 months before we got the news of you - and I will tell you of all of our joys and happiness. You will even know what you put me through in the long 9 months before I got to see your face. You will read stories of the very real lives full of the most wonderful kind of love that led up to your earthly debut and (as the title infers) beyond.

So let's end the beginning with this. I love you, Poppyseed. Daddy loves you, Poppyseed. Your daddy and I have gotten along just fine with only the two of us to worry about, but we are now overjoyed to add you to our family. Our love, it seems, is pretty rare, so you must know that you come from a love so wonderful that you are certain to be nothing less than amazing. Your daddy and I have dreamed of you for as long as we could dream. You are our dream come true, but above all, remember that you are part of GOD's plan. That makes you God's dream too. That's a much greater dream than anything we Hairstons could imagine.